Funeral for a Friend

(Sideshow Bob, Cecil and Their Father in "Funeral for a Fiend" Twentieth Century Fox, Bart accidentally kills his nemesis Side Show Bob... meanwhile I accidentally kill a friendship that was thought to last a lifetime)

1. Some people stay in our lives
2. Some people only promise to stay in our lives
3. Some people we always want to stay in our lives
4. Some people can't stay
5. Some people stay... placing a deep mark changing it forever then leaving for no apparent reason

I'm the a**hole number 5, better be the hurter than the hurtee (hurter and hurtee are not real words, and so is a**hole)

When I finally decided to let Tina and Rachel on into my circle of trust I was again on my habit of being asshole number 5, what made them different is they stood by me. I stood back at them.

Today marks a turning point in our destiny (the word destiny never have felt heavier in my perspective).

When was the last time you cried yourself to sleep?

How many times have you asked yourself "How could you do this to me?"

I kept turning back time and try to understand where it all went wrong, i know the answer I just don't want to say it.

Okay I'll say it I am an idiotic stone cold jerk.

Now the tides have turned

I am miserable

miserable

pathetic in fact

Let me tell you a few things about Tina and Rachel

both of them know an account in my online life
both of them got really mad at me so many times
both of them were able to attend one occassion in our house which is always off limits to any mortal
both of them gave me a letter I still keep (actually I can't find it)
both of them got into anime to relate to me
both of them became video games to relate to me
both of them saw embarrassing moments I was involved in, we laughed at in till we ran out of air
both of them stayed no matter how a jerk I am
both of them had to go because of the world
and both of them I will not give up on

Last night I tried to call both of them no one answered

Tina my deepest and heartfelt sympathy, May God be with you in this time of despair. that goes the same for you Rachel.